My world fell apart 3 days after I had my little man, 13th January to be precise.
Family & friends had been coming and going but nothing spoilt it for me until the dreaded C word was bought up by my parents when they came around on the 13th. They sat me down and I knew in my heart my Dad hadn’t been well but not in a million years did I think he had cancer. They explained with tears in their eyes it was bladder cancer but it was incurable so my dad would have it for however long he lived.
I asked question after question but nothing was sinking in, the incurable bit stuck in my head. Eventually after lots of tears they went home and left me & my partner sat in silence with our new-born son. Night after night I cried myself to sleep thinking my son wouldn’t know his Granddad and that killed me.
I pulled myself together and thought if I mope and treat my Dad differently then it’s not going to get any of us anywhere so I picked myself up and got us a house in Paignton (as we were in Torquay and I wanted to be closer to my Dad). Move day came & went and I got to see my Dad every day as I literally was up the road. The operation date came for the hospital to see how bad it was and try & remove the tumours, worse day of my life waiting & waiting & waiting. Eventually my mum called and said they’d managed to get about ¾’s of the tumours but he had to have chemo.
As soon as my dad came home I was waiting for him with his favourite buns made by me to cheer him up but he looked awful & felt even worse, he managed to eat a bun and gave me a smile that he always gives me when he doesn’t know what to say.
As the days & weeks passed he had his chemo and I came and stayed with him during the days when mum was at work. We just generally sat & talked but I was very grateful that he could muster the energy to play with my son and bonded.
6 months passed & yet another letter came from the hospital, another operation date loomed. This operation was exactly the same as the last but this time they removed loads more tumours and it really took its toll on dad as he had no immune system so he was constantly getting colds & flu’s but we all rallied around to keep dad smiling.
About 3 months after the last operation me & my partner were struggling to afford to rent so my parents agreed to let us all move in to their house, which meant putting up walls, moving furniture and sorting out endless crap you end up accumulating over the years. I thought I’ll get to help dad and make his life easier which I have done, I keep the house tidy & clean, I do the cooking etc which my dad totally appreciates as some days he doesn’t have the energy to make a cup of tea (I do that too).
Now were almost 3 years on and another operation has been and gone but this one was totally different, Dad had been unwell for a few weeks with a cold so was on antibiotics so we all expected the hospital to cancel the op but he went in at 8am & was home by 11am and said he’s never felt so healthy and fit before in his life!
Living with him for over a year now I have seen him extremely ill, frail, and lethargic but I’ve also seen him happy, playing with my son, my dogs having a laugh with the family.
I wanted to let other people know that the C word is scary as hell but it’s not all gloom & doom, My dad is as happy as he’s ever been and so are we.